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  • Writer's pictureAngee Stevens

This is 42. (Day 04)

It’s amazing the ripple effect of human behavior.

I struggled to sleep last night. I woke around 3:30am and don’t think I officially fell back asleep until 5:00am, though I may have dozed. This isn’t normal for me and I just assumed maybe I took my afternoon dose of adderall too late. Sometimes that happens as I lose track of time and forget to take my medicine by noon; a very ADHD trait.

I also had a very subtle throat tickle that whatever it lacked in pain was made up for in sheer annoyance. How can you fall back asleep if you feel like you’re swallowing dry crackers and getting up for drinks of water every 10 seconds? That mixed with the snoring (not certain if dog or husband?), the 40 mph winds outside my window, and feeling like I’m going to sweat to death (not sure if it’s the heater set higher for grandma or the early stages of perimenopause), it was the perfect storm for sleeplessness.

Let’s just say, hypothetically speaking, it was your 42nd birthday this past Saturday and you decided to have a small gathering of 20 folks at your house to play games. Then let’s say this morning, 4 days later, you find out 2 of the people at your party tested positive for COVID, which prompted additional testing of others resulting in 4 additional positives, including your husband.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Throat tickle or covid??? Luckily, I tested negative and both grandma and my children had their booster shots recently. I still opted to cancel our Tuesday discounted movie tickets for tonight that I had purchased 3 days ago to see “Wish”. Figured better safe than sorry as I wouldn’t want to infect others.

Yet it was MY birthday party that became the super spreader event infecting a minimum of 6 people JUST BEFORE THANKSGIVING!!

The throat tickle has now added a small unproductive cough. I really hope it’s not covid.

Logically I know this isn’t my fault but, man, I feel some high level of guilt about it. One friend had to leave work because she felt so awful. Another has to miss Thanksgiving with her family because her father’s health is compromised.

We had to cancel both of our thanksgiving plans. Thanksgiving day my husband prepares all the food (his cooking is the best!) and the afternoon is spent with my immediate household, my mom, my mother-in-law, my niece and nephew, and this year my aunt and uncle on my moms side were going to join us as well. I was so excited!

The Friday after thanksgiving has always been spent with my husband’s family, watching the Husker football game. You see, my father-in-law decided long ago that it was too difficult to find the perfect time to gather all 10 of his son’s and their families on thanksgiving day. Not only that but it’s a potluck! Brilliant!

This would have been our second year of hosting the Stevens Family Thanksgiving at our house since my father-in-law’s passing two years ago. He really was the glue that held this family together. The family just doesn’t come together quite like they used to with him around.

That's what makes Thanksgiving one of my husband's favorite holidays. It involves him cooking for others, spending time with family, and watching football. It's like the trifecta of joy. What more could you ask for??

Sadly, that's what also makes my husband testing positive for covid 2 days before Thanksgiving that much more devastating to him, and to several others within the Stevens Family I'm sure.

One of the hidden gifts of having grown up with trauma is learning very quickly that things don't always work out how we expect. Life has a funny way of always asking us to adapt and change from one circumstance to the next. Whether we like it or not, we just have to roll with the punches... aaaaaaaand the positive covid cases.

Great, now I’m feeling overheated again! Hot flash or covid fever?!? Do I need a prescription for more cowbell?!?

No fever (whew!) but God, I really hope it’s not covid.

On a brighter note, got to plan an impromptu movie night in with some of my favorite people. Ended the night with SpongeBob, snuggles, and a basement slumber party! As much as covid can isolate us from one another, it sure can also bring us together.

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